Good Guys vs. Bad Guys

Last night we got a bit of bad news: our daughter and son-in-law’s home about a mile from here was burglarized–while we were all sitting in our living room eating dinner and watching Jeopardy. Let’s pause here. I’m not really a sexist, but I do frequently cheer for the women on Jeopardy. Last night was no exception. The returning champion was a librarian from Athens, GA. Chances are she went to my alma mater–the University of Georgia. She was funny and cheerful. One of the challengers was your classic Jeopardy triple threat: a dweeby shut-in type dude whose hobby was performing 17th century French erotic plays. No shite! I am NOT making this up. Of course, he out-triggered the champion at every turn (I think he got every question in the Seinfeld category: need I say more?) and she was quickly over-powered. I think somebody should do a dissertation on this: guys nearly always out-perform women on Jeopardy, not necessarily because they know more useless stuff (they do though) but because they are more aggressive and willing to bet bigger on themselves. At least that’s my theory. In the 35 minutes Katie and Mark were here matching wits with the troubled loner on Jeopardy, some lowlife crackhead bandits crowbarred their way into a downstairs window of their rental house and made off with a goodly cache of the kids’ stuff: two laptops, some iPods, their brand-new video camera, and Katie’s jewelry, including some treasured pieces given her by my sister, who was Katie’s godmother. They did this with the kids’ big black lab Tybee right there–we think they used a piece of lumber they found in the house to fend him off–although let’s face it, Tybee was probably more afraid of them than vice-versa. They trashed the kids’ bedroom and office, and thoughtfully put up the dog gate and let themselves out. And took away the kids’ sense of security and well-being. Katie was too freaked to sleep in her own home last night, and chances are good it may be a while before she can feel safe there again. They have renter’s insurance, so they can replace the electronics, but the tiny diamond earrings my sister Susie gave Katie for her 18th birthday are gone. The kids are installing a burglar alarm. They will probably move from the house they loved, and Tybee has been given a stern talking-to about being a more pro-active crime dog. And oh yeah–Mark’s laptop had the video we did of me and Eddie Ross at the Scott Antique Market last month. Mark had just finished editing it and was getting ready to add music so I could post it on my blog. Bastards! I may have to just go vigilante on ’em. We spent the morning cleaning up the mess the thieves made–washing everything they might have touched so as to remove the bad ju-ju from the house. And when I got home, there was a package on my doorstep from one of my oldest bestest friends, Sue in Ohio. Sue and I have been friends since 7th grade back in St. Petersburg, and she knows well my fondness for junk, especially Floridiana themed junk, which I’m using to decorate the Breeze Inn. She’d packed me a splendid housewarming gift, including a fantastic Florida souvenir tablecloth, probably from the 1950s (mint condition), a Georgia souvenir handkerchief, and a vintage Viewmaster with lots of fun slides from around the world. Planning how to display my new treasures vanquished the bad guy ju-ju. Sometimes, the good guys (or make that girls) really do come out on top.

6 thoughts on “Good Guys vs. Bad Guys”

  1. My first phone call after calling the police when we were burgled was to my Mum, as I'm sure Katie's was. Unfortunately we went through this experience twice, but after the second time we had an alarm installed and this gave me the peace of mind I needed and we've had no further problems. I had always thought that if this awful experience happened to me that I would no longer want to live in my house however when it did happen I refused to let scumbags like that drive me from my home, so we cleaned everything up (word of advice – tell them to throw out there toothbrushes) and I put it out of my head. We'd worked to hard to get our home to let lowlifes like that ruin it for us. Best of luck to Katie & Mark.

  2. The garbage men robbed our house when I was in third grade and after that I would hide if I happened to be home when the non-criminal garbage men came to pick up our trash. I’m sorry that happened to them.

    I work with that Librarian at UGA and she is AWESOME. And that guy? What kind of creepy hobby is performing erotic french plays? And even if that WAS your hobby, would you tell it on national tv??

  3. I’m so sorry to hear about the burglary! I hope your kids are doing better now.

    Dan was a really nice guy, and I have to tell you all he DOES NOT PERFORM naughty French plays, he STUDIES THEM FOR HIS DOCTORAL DISSERTATION. Sorry to shout! but I don’t want anyone to get a bad idea about him. As I write this he’s a three-time champion, and I’m happy I got beat by someone that good.

  4. Oops, sorry, I didn’t realize this would go out under my “dog on the Internet” name. This is Diane Trap, and thank you for thinking I was cheerful and amusing.

Comments are closed.