In all the drama of trying to finish a book (and get a beach house rehabbed) I’ve completely fallen down on the job of SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION FOR BRAZEN HUSSIES. So, let’s pause for a moment for a message from our sponsor. (That would be me, wearing my writer hat.)
This Saturday, at 12:30 p.m. please join me and author H.N. Kilby at the Atlanta Journal Constitution Decatur Book Festival. About the festival, it’s a really fun, family-oriented book-centric outing.
Snark warning: Just between us? It always annoys me when a book festival lines up a “headliner” who isn’t actually a writer, but rather, a cosmetically-enhanced television personality. It saddens me, too, because I realize that these television personalities will always out-draw the inky wretches who scratch out a living by writing. One year, I went to a book festival with an estimated 200 authors, and yet, the promoters chose to make Andy Rooney the marquee speaker. Andy Rooney, who makes a living being a cranky old tv codger on 60 Minutes, decided after about five minutes at this festival that he was outta there, leaving a line of some 200 people scratching their heads and wondering what to do with the book they’d just purchased. The AJC Book Festival’s headliner was going to be Ty Pennington, the over-caffeinated host of Extreme Home Makeover for Poor People who are Not too Proud to Accept Free Wide-Screen TVs and Hot Tubs. Guess what? Ty has apparently had a better offer from Oprah, so he has ditched the festival. Oh children. Okay, snarkiness over.
We’ll be speaking at the Old DeKalb County Courthouse. You know it–it’s the actually attractive decomissoned courthouse on the Decatur Square, facing Ponce deLeon. I’ve had a blast doing this festival for the past two years, and this year should be no exception. I have no idea what I’ll say or do, but I’ll do my best to be entertaining. And–should you need a bribe–and really, who doesn’t want a bribe?–I’ll be handing out my coveted MaryKayAndrews funeral parlour fans. But wait! There’s more! You say you want a door prize drawing? Well, sisters, I am all about pleasing my peeps. All you have to do is fill out a puny little piece of paper giving me your email address (to be added to my MKA mailing list) and you’ll be entered in a drawing to win a $50 gift certificate to my favorite Decatur restaurant, FEAST.
Now, about that mailing list. I don’t sell it or rent it. And I have no interest in selling you the world’s smallest fishing pole, penile enhancing substances, or colon cleansing products. I only want to sell you on selling ME, Mary Kay Andrews. So come, enjoy, pick up your freebie, register for a prize, buy my books, make me rich. I’ll be signing books after the talk, and then, I’m loading up my rented cargo van and heading back to Brimfield, Mass, with my junk sistah Beth for the Brimfield Antique Market for a solid week of junking. Oh Joy!