Today, Sunday, I’ll be giving a book talk and hawking books at the NE Spruill Oaks Library Branch in Johns Creek, Ga. I think that’s the new name for a part of formerly unincorporated Alpharetta. The gig starts at 2:30 p.m. If you live nearby, c’mon over. I mean, just how much football does one person need to watch? It’s at 9560 Spruill Oaks Rd. It’s free and everything. And you could buy a buttload of books–since over here at The Kudzu Telegraph/Mary Kay Andrews global headquarters it is all about me.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled rant. The good news is that the big yellow truck did not flip over. The aquaduct paint on the outside of The Breeze Inn is nothing short of amazing. It makes your pulse drop a few points just looking at it. Tranquility in a paint can. The blossom pink paint on the front door is yummy too. Altho–when we pulled up Thursday the first thing I noticed was that the painters had mistakenly painted the door surround pink too–which made the house look like a slatternly old lady with smeared hot pink lipstick. Once they painted the surround white, like the rest of the trim, all was calm. In other not so happy news: the electrician, Mr. Reddy Killowatt, flunked his inspection. Among other brilliant moves, he neglected to place a 110 outlet in the kitchen for the stove. Light switches are so screwed up it makes me want to scream. There is no internet cable run to my office cubby. Hello??? The plumber decided once and for all that my beloved vintage pedestal sinks would not work after all, because it’s impossible to find modern drains to fit them. Curses! The stove wouldn’t fit in the cabinet slot in the kitchen, so we had to get the granite guy to come out and grind down the slot. The microwave had a stripped screw and was missing vital mounting brackets, so we had to run out and buy a new one. And the floor guy for some reason, decided we didn’t want the staircase and upstairs landing sanded and stained–like ALL the other floors he’d installed. “I thought you wanted to paint that” he reportedly said. But who paints newly installed reclaimed heart pine???? So he’ll have to come back down from Atlanta. Again. We weren’t allowed to set up the beds because the electrical and HVAC guys flunked their inspections, meaning we can’t get a certficate of occupancy until they DO pass inspection. So furniture and dishes and kitchenware are piled everywhere. Except that Mr. Mary Kay DID get his big-ass TV set up. And while I was up in Charleston Saturday, doing a book gig, he snuck out and bought MORE speakers.
Ok. Rant over. None of the above is insurmountable. Nobody was maimed or killed in the move. It’s just a house. Just stuff. We are so blessed that our dream of having a beach house was finally realized. And I know it will be beautiful when it’s done. Or else. Mr. Reddy Killowatt may find himself with a 110 outlet plugged where the sun don’t shine.